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Com: Blood Raining Night pt.3

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Part three of the fanfiction review. I'm going to be more blunt this time. Featuring parts 11-15.

listen, if you guys are too immature 2 handle the sexy parts of my story then you should just not read it, k?
you guys commenting on chapter 9 should stop pointing fingers at me and telling me there's something wrong with me, I write bad, and those other things.
kthanx :/

[It's not because people are immature, it's because people don't want others to be exposed to that shit. Yes, your writing is horrible. I can't tell what grade you're in. If

you are taking English class, it seems like you're ignoring the instructions and paying more attention to anime and learning Japanese.]

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Chapter 11 - A Beautiful Voice Lost in the Rain



Sensei laughed really hard, "good going Minna. You should join the contest, too. Do any of you ever sing in the shower?"

[I don't know anyone who does.]

They all looked at each other and said, "yeah sometimes. We do. Even with each other!" Reicheru laughed jokenly.

[*Jokingly. Or was that a pun?]

"Hahhaha, that's cute." He smiled. "Alright then class, Reicheru has to go to practice singing while we finnish the rest off our math class. Good luck, Rei-Kun."

[*Finish. Unless you're actually talking about the language of Finnish itself.]

"Thank you, sensei-sama." she left the room excited. 'I hope I can do this!' she thought to herself. 'I cant belive that Minna-chan signed me up! That crazy ho."
She chuckled to herself because she wasn't being serious.

"Your not going to win that contest, Reicheru. I can blood bend and I will force you to singing something shitty." It was Lucy again.

[*You're; *To sing.]

"Oh back off you tough-ass bitch." Reicheru starred her down like two cowboys in the old west getting ready to fight each other to the death.

[*Stared. Unless you mean she summoned stars from her eyes!]

"You still got speghetti on your pregnant parts." Lucy pointed to Reicheru's belly. "You're such a whore and everyone KNOWS it."

[You mean "baby bump".]

"Your wrong and blind. You dont' see things like other people do because you can't get a grip on your own reality because you're so cruel to everyone. People love me.
You're the one they hate, you're the on ethat everyone wants to stay away from. and you know wha? You're the whore. I know about all the people you've slept with.
Don't think that when I see Germany and Bolin I don't see you ontop of them wallering like a walrus in heat. It's sick."

[So that explains it.]

"That hurts!" Tears of pain and shame poured from the inside of her body through her eyes. She didn't want to remember her bad past. "You stupid bitch."
She walked away, defeated. She was no match for Reicheru and her strong words of passion and truth.

Rei's not strong, nor as clever as everyone thinks she is in the story. Lucy's probably hypersensitive.]

"You can't beat me, I have a heart stronger than anyone's will to eat."

[I have a heart to eat the hearts from carrion. So what?]


Reicheru was sitting at the library reading a book and practicing singing. She could feel the baby inside of her growing stronger and getting bigger.
"Daddy," she said to herself, "why are you so cruel to me? Alls I ever did was love you and want to be your daughter and then when my cat demon killed mom you didn't

love me anymore.
I never did anything wrong! Now I live every day bloody and ashamed of my parts that can't control themselves. The parts that need to come out and live. My she wolf. The

things that live deep inside of me.
WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME DADDY!? WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME??" it was like the world fell on its head and she was transported back into time. There she was

sitting there with her fatter as a little girl.

[He must be some whale of a guy. What would Freud say about the situation?]

"You stupid asshole," he wa shitting her intensly onto the floor. Blood was on her face and she couldn't get up,

"NO, I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER!" she cried.

[She's got PTSD, and for a good reason. I'd be traumatized too if my dad had a gut powerful enough to propel bloody shit in my face.]

It was the singing contest and everyone was sitting and waiting for the performers to perform. Students and teatchers were sitting in the crows waiting for the contest to

begin.

[What is it with the author and putting people inside animals? Please be a joke.]

It began. A bunch of students sang songs like Firework, Stupid Boy, and maybe even some Little Wayne from the guys at school who liked to wrap alot. None of them were

anything too special though.
"The next peformer is: Reicheru Ketsuekineko-oni." the announcer said.

[And the crowd of vultures boo like hell.]

Reicheru shyly got up onto the stage and held the mic, "hey everyone. I wasn't delebrately trying to sing today, but my friend put me into the contest so here I am." People

laughed.

[That's not standup comedy!]

"I just wanted to say- I...uh..." her eyes went off into the distance and she saw her father hitting her around like a plastic ball that children play with again. "I..."
The crowds of people looked worried and scared for her they didn't know what to do. "No daddy! No, no! Stop! I didn't mean to kill her! Daddy!!!!-da"

Suddenly. A song from her heart came out through her lungs in a melodic tone. She sang Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri.

[I wanted to hate the song, but I actually listened to it and I like it. This song is too good to be mentioned in a bad fanfiction.]

Everyone gazted at her intensly. She was so beautiful and in a trance, her voice of that of an angle singing in the heavens. Tears still came out of her eyes but she kept singing.

It was so beautiful and heartbreaking.
The song finnished and everybody clapped and gave her a standing obvation. "Thank you." She blushed.

[While it is a decent song, it doesn't sound that deep or beautiful. "Calling To The Night" from Metal Gear made me cry on the first listening. Jar of Hearts didn't move me

as much.]


"I think we know who the ewienner is, Reicheru Ketsue-" SPLASH. Blood oozed out of Reicheru because Lucy blood bended her.

[She threw a bloody sausage at her? Actually, no.]

"So goodbye to your baby, Reicheru. I just gave you an aborition with my mind!" Lucy smirked.

Blood covered Reicheru's hands as she tried to wipe it away off of her uniform. "You bitch! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

[I doubt the baby's really dead, since the author favors her self insert too much. She's going to write in some magical thing to make it all right, I bet.]

Chapter 12 - A Gift in Disguise


It was truely shocking when Lucy had performed the blood-bending technique on Reicheru. She fell to the ground, her hair fluttering in the wind like a dieing bird who was

shot and falling to the gournd.
"Oh god," she thought "is this the end? Will I now die? will my baby die?" her head hit the stage ground and everyone could hear the gentle thud.

"HA," Lucy screamed and point at her, "take that! You thought you could talk shit to me and get away with it, but you shouldn't playw ith fire if you can't handle it." She

smirked.

[Well said, Lucy.]

"Someone needs to take her home!!" Inuyasha screamed!

"I will." Denmark stepped up and held her in his arm. "I'm taking her home with me, where she belongs. Even though she's YOUR baby." he glared at Inuyasha.

"Dick." he sneered.

As he walked her home he could see how beautiful she was her hair covering her cute, petite face, her turquoise highlight over her eyes, that slight smile upon her rosey red

lipses, the way her school uniform hugged the curves on her body, and how her head bobbled up and down: it was magical to him.

[He's probably a necrophile. From now on, I won't pay much attention to the typos and spelling mistakes unless I can make something humorous out of it.]

He rememberd how much he loved her and what he has been missing this whole time. It didn't matter anymore that Inuyasha savaged her and plumped her up- it was the

same girl he had known and loved this hole time, so he let it all go.
"I love you Reicheru." he spoke softly, like a quiet murmer that wasn't meant to be heard.

Like maic, she opened her eyes and smiled! "I love you too, Denny-Kun."

[I like the Denny's restaurant. LOL.]

He cried and held her tigher, "I'm so happy things are back to exactlly the way they were! I missed those days."

"I did too." she smiled.

[I miss the 90s.]


They were at home and Reicheru was laying in bed. Korra walked in through the door and shat down next to her with a giftbox.

"Konnichiwa Rei-cha-"

"STOP IT! STOP ACTIN GLIKE MY FRIEND!" Reicheru bitchslapped Korra on the face. "I know that you are with Sesshomaru, trying to destroy us, and having tons of

fun with him!"

[I hope you're not referring to the "in and out" act. That's a really ugly picture to imagine.]

"Reicheru..." Korra's face turned down as she begun to cry. There was a deep pain in her heart where her feelings were hurt. "You...you...don't understand. I can't control

myself."

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN"T CONTROL YOURSELF? You killed someone and you've been lieing to us this whole time!" Reicheru slapped

down on her food tray and it went flying into Korra's face.

[I'd like to be serious for a moment. There really are people who have disorders in which they can't control their violent behavior. Really sad, actually.]

"Hey- watch out!" she brushed the rice out of her poneytail. "I've got something to tell you, it's really important."

"Fine, what is it?" Reicheru crossed her arms like a mad little boy with his parents. her eyes burned with fire and anger, the sun beamed in them.

"I'm...well...I..." Korra stopped and breatehd, "I'm part demon, too. I'm like you, Reicheru. And I'm like Yuki. I'm part angel and I'm part demon. When my demon side

comes out I forget who I am and I do thinks I wouldn't do."

"So you mean that when your with Sesshomaru you don't remember and that your bad side is controlling you?"

"That's right." Korra smiled. "Thank god you understand."

"it's not a matter of understand, it's a matter of loyalty."

[Dafuq did I just read?]

"I understand." Korra nodded. "When I'm an angle I'm really good, but when Im a demon Im really bad. So bad it hurts. I wake up and I'm angryw ith myself."

"I wish I could help you, Korra." Reicheru hesitated.

[Get some happy pills! You have pills! Remember? Trains and pills in some historical era!]

"You can, Reicheru. do what you were born to do...destroy Sesshomaru and all even. Hey i'm really sorry about the confusion. I'm going to take you out for dinner

sometime, kay? We owns a traditional mexican restaraunt."

Reicheru laughed. "My dad hates mexicans. He never took me to mexican restaurants."

[The father already sounds no more different than some Americans]

"He sounds like a dick."

"Yeah, he'd probably kill you if he had the chance." Reicheru smiled and shrugged. "sounds great, I'll come and eat with you at your restaurant sometime soon. Bye."

"Goodbyeee~!" Korra smiled and gave Rei a big hug.

[Did you forget about the baby already? Women don't get over that stuff very quickly.]

WOWZIE!!!~~~~~~
I've got pple following meh =^,^= thnx to all my supporters! let haters hate
i'll never give up! NYA~ON!
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Chapter 13 - Shower of Rain

[We get it. It's always got something to do with rain, even when it's got nothing to do with rain. Sounds like an attempt to look cool.]


"Reicheru, why are you getting dressed?" Denmark asked. he just came out of the shower and was wearing a white backrobe. He looked at her real hard and smiled.

"I'm going out with a friend a girls night out type of thing, you know. ONLY for girls." she smirked at him. "I know what your thinking. You think that when girls have

sleepovers or go out for dinner they end of making out."

He giggled, "sometimes. I can't help it, it's a fantasy! A guy thing."

"Yeah, whatever. I know all about your 'guy thing'." she laughed as she put on her black silk kimono. She has her hair tied up in a red ribbon, like she does for the Yakuza. A

red obi with neon butterflies on it.
"I'll be at Korra's mexican restaurant, okay? If you need me I'll be there."

"Dont eat anything to spicy, Rei. You don't want to burn the baby!" He laughed at his own joke, it was kind of stupid. But that's what she loved about him.

[I guess I don't have to make any good/lame jokes. This fanfic really drives itself.]

"Uhh, okay baby. I love you." She kissed him very pessionately. "And I always will. Byeeee~" She walked out the door with the end parts of the bow on her obi flowing in

the wind. She was stunning.



She arrived at the mexican restuarant it was called Les Tacos (AKA: them Tacos, a very hip and vibe place.) Korra was standing at the door bowing.
"Come on in Reicheru!" she rushed ove rand hugged her. "Man, I missed ya. I'm glad to see you out of bed and healing well."

"Yeah, me too." She smiled. It was a fake smile. She still beared terrible thoughts thoughts that wanted to consume her and make her cry. But it was time for mexican food,

so she couldn't think about that.

"Kay ladies, sit over here. Here's your menus." The waitress said. They set down at a booth Twinkle Magic was playing on the radio.

"Thanks, Aya." Korra said. "It's nice not to be the one serving for once." she smiled a bight and beaming smile like the shun.
"It's really hard being mexican". Korra sighed. "there's a lot of racist people around and I get very tired of it. Sometimes I just want to punch them." she giggled and smiled.

"Don't worry," Reicheru stuck a nacho into her mouth, "I'll beat the shit out of anyone that messes with you."

"Aha!!!" Korra took Rei's hands, "you shouldn't be doing that you have a baby on board your tummy."

"Agh fuck the baby. I forgot about that. I suppose that means I shouldn't have any fancy drinks tonight."

"No silly." Korra smiled and shook her head.

"Shut up you mexican." one of the guys from the both next to them said.

"Shut up dickface or I'll stuff your sorry ass full of nachos." Reicheru's eyes turned red and her cat demon nearly came out.

"That's enough Rei-Chan!" Korra sweated. "Sir, mind your own business."

"YOU mind YOURS, bitch." he growled.

"YOU-" Reicheru stood up but Korra made her sit down.

"Just ignore him, Reiche." Korra spoke softly like a breeze.

[I once got into an argument with someone who hated Russians. It didn't end very well.]

They sat at the table waiting for their order. Korra got a coke and Reicheru had her first bubble tea.

"WOW, what's in this?! Whenever I suck on it I get these squishy balls in my throat. I nearly chocked!"

[Bubble tea trolls people that way.]

"That's tapioca, Reiche. Squishy tapioca balls. Aren't they good?" She smiled. "You know, it's funny. I'm half angel and half demon. You're half demon and Yuki's half angel.

Do you think we're related?"

Reicheru stopped sucking. "I don't know Ko-chan. That's a weird thing to think hehe."

"Yeah," she blushed, "your right!"

[Only to an extent.]

Suddenly, Reicheru felt a terrible peng in her stomach. "Oh god!!!" she said, "it really hurts. God, what's happening?!?!"

"I'm using my angelic powers, I can sense you're giving birth!"

"WHAT!?!? HERE?!?!?" Reicheru screamed.

"Someonehelp us!" Korra cried.

"Shut up, mexican." A rude man said.

Korra was flustered "Fuck, we're in this on our own! Get read and spread your legs, Rei....

...I'm doing this!"

[CLIFFHANGER! Also, isn't the baby dead? You did write that Lucy gave Rei an abortion with her mind.]

Srry for the long wait!
i got a writing spur and I might write a few more chapters tonghit!!!
-----------------------------

Chapter 14 - Born an Angle



"Korra-chan, it hurts its really hurts!!!!" Reicheru closed her eyes tightly. It seemed like it would take an eternity. She had been dialating for a good 2 hours and her whole

body felt like giving up.

[I'm hoping the author's not really thinking of getting pregnant at such a young age. It's not a hip thing to do and it cuts your childhood short.]

"Hey Rei-chan! I can see it! It's beautiful! Dont give up now!" Korra screamed and held onto the baby.

"Believe me Korra-chan, I can't not now." she cried and her eyes bleed out. The pain throbbed through her temples and to her legs.

Screams and pain could be heard throughout the entire restaurant. People had stopped eating and was watching intently. Some people threw up.
Reicheru pushed as hard as she could and Korra encouraged her through the whole thing. The baby's head came out first and then Korra pulled her out.

"Reicheru" Korra said, "its a-" A BRIGHT CRIMSON LIGHT SHONE FROM THE BABY AND THE LIGHTS WENT OUT. Floating in the air was a young naked girl

with long green hair.

[Lady Palutena, how'd you get in there?]

She had kind face and a beautiful smile. Her cheeks were rosey and her eyes twinkled. She had brown furry ears comming out of her head and two wigs on her back.

[I guess she can't fly after she gives them to bald people.]

"Oka-San," spoke the little girl "I am Elaine your daughter, this is my true form. Thank you for carrying me all this time. A part of me lie kidden in you and in Inuyasha. When

you two came together you made me. For thousands of years I have lied dormant within people waiting for the perfect match to find each other."

"Does that mean I should marry Inuyasha?" Reicheru said. Her golden eyes sparkled and a tear fell off her face.

"Oka-San, I can't tell you anymore about your life. You need to figure things out for yourself. I have created you and in return you created me. Before I leave, I shall grant

you one withs."

[Does this mean Rei's an inbred? That would explain a lot.]

"I dont' know what to wish for!! Who are you?" her eyes burned.

"I am god. You are the mother of god. I will give you one peice of ever lasting happiness."

She looked to the ground like as if starring at something intensly trying to make up her mind. She could be selfish and ask her father dead or ask where Sesshomaru was

hiding.
"Show me where Sesshomaru the Vampire Lord is." her voice rang out into the stars.

"As you wish Oka-San."  Between Elaine's (AKA Tenshikuzu) hands there was a vision of the path to Sesshomaru's secret lair. "The perfect time would be to go ashita."

"Tomorrow, I see." Recheru nodded. "Sayounara, Tenshikuzu."

"Sayounara, Oka-San." Elaine disappeared into the light.

Korra and a bunch of the other people regained conciousness. "Whoa!?!? What happend??!!" she was scarred and pannicking.

"It's okay." Reicheru reassured. "Hey, I think I'll order the duck."

[You let your kid go like that? Some parenting skills you sure (don't) have.]

halfway mark to another 10 chapters!!

[You've got 15 chapters as of this point, ten makes it 25, and you think that means you're halfway there? 25 divided by 2 is 12.5. You're really off with your math here.]



Nya-on!

[*Insert annoying vulture noise*]
-----


Chapter 15 - School Days

[C-C-C-Combo breaker! Sorry, had to.]

Reicheru and Yuki were sitting under a sakura tree at school. It was warm and sunny out and everything smelt of lavender. They were busy skipping class. Mr Hanayubi their

teacher didn't care. He knew girls needed time alone sometimes.

[Especially when they're angry and menstruating.]

"Wow, and then she flew up into the air in light?" Yuki-chan gasped.

"Yeah, she just disappeared into the air and light. It was pretty amazing. I'm sad to see her go though. I'm sure Inuyasha will be sad too." Reicheru sighed and closed her

eyes.

"How's Denmark taking this?"

[About as heavily as Draco from "My Immortal" was.]

"He's alright with it. He wanted to see the baby. We were going to raise it together but Tenshikuzu said that me and Inuyasha were the perfect match. I don't get it."

"It'll all come to you in time Rei-chan. Believe in yourself." Yuki-chan put her hand on Reicheru's hand.

[Denny-kun's probably going to have an awful character retcon that makes him evil by the end of this fic. That's if there is an end, anyway.]

"You're right. I'll be sure to do that." BUZZ BUZZ "Hey, my cell is ringing." Reicheru picked it up. "Hello?...Uhhuh....WHAT?...no way!...I told her she shouldn't watch

Pokemon."

[A cell rings when it's set to "vibrate"? That really sucks.]

Yuki sat up "what? What is it!"

"You know why Minna-chan hasn't been at school today? She got amnesia watching pokemon. The lights that flash do something to your head. I told her she shouldn't watch

it alone!"

[Flashing lights don't necessarily cause amnesia. I doubt the author knows what epilepsy is. Please be trolling.]

"That idiot!" Yuki huffed, "what's going to happen to her?"

"Apparently she'll be comming later. We should talk to her and reintroduce her to everyone. Maybe it will jog her memory."

"Damn I hope it does. Lunch will be sad without the Minna-chan we know and love." Yuki put her head on her hand and sighed.


Later that day Minna-chan came in a white car and weakly walked out of it. She wabbled back and forth and tried to keep her balance on the hood of the car.
"Th-thanks for taking me to school. Hanate-San?"

"Yes, Hanayubi-San." It was their teacher he was wearing dark sunglasses and a white shirt with a red tie. He got out of the car and lead her to Yuki and Reicheru.
"I found her walking around my house talking about pokemon. I decided to give her a ride. She said she didn't want it but I knew she really did." He smiled at her. "Aren't

you glad now?"

[Oh hell why. That just sounds very wrong on a few levels.]

"Y-yes, domo arigato gosaimashita Hanayubi-San." she bowed and walked over to Reicheru and Yuki. "Are you misty?" she pointed to Yuki.

"No hun. Your memory has really been burnt out. Don't you remember who we are?" Yuki put her hands on her hips.

"Alls I remember is the lights flashing and Pikachu screaming!" Minna-chan put her hands on her head and cried immense tears.

Reicheru put her hands out "Hey it's okay! You're safe now. It was all just a bad dream, okay?"

[I feel this is an insult to the hundreds of kids who suffered epileptic attacks from the episode "Electric Soldier Porygon".]

Mr. Hanayubi took off his coat and put it on Minna's shoulder. "Let me take you to the janitor's closet to dry your tears."

[NO, don't go with him!]

"Ok-kay..." Minna sniffed and was taken away.

"Wow, this isn't good." Reicheru's eyes grew big. "How do you think we'll get her back to normal?"

"Was she ever normal?" Yuki asked.

They laughed. "Well, we should get going to class. I hope she does okay with the assignments."

"Hmmm...don't get your hopes up." Yuki looked suspiciously.


Class had already begun when Reicheru and Yuki got there. Mr. Hanayubi and Minna were already in class. Sensei was talking at the front of the board.

"Okay so class," he said, "can you tell me what the bay of pigs is? Minna-chan?" He pointed at her with his pen.

"Uhum..." she spoke quitely, more quietly than a timmid little mouse. "Is it when the pigs came to the bay...?"
The whole class laughed at her. Her face turned red like blood with embarrassment. Her eyes became tiny and the tears started to flow.
"No no! I-I was jokeing! The bay of pigs is when...it's a celebration of the year of the pigs."
Everyone laughed again. "No! I..."

[LOLWUT?]

"Don't hurt yourself Minna-chan." Mr. Hanayubi assured. "You'll figure it out in the next lesson."

"BUT I DO KNOW!" she frantically looked around at everyone "I SWEAR!" Minna-chan ran out of the room crying painful tears.

"You all need to shut the fuck up!" Reicheru yelled. Immediately everyone became quiet. "Thank you."


It was very quiet at lunchtime. Minna was still sad about her earlier troubles.
"I don't get it." she said "how d-did this happen?"

"Don't think about it, okay? You're gonna be alright. We'll find a way to get your memory back. After all, I am the mother of god." Reicheru said.

[Then use your spare fairy dust or whatever it is to cure her!]

"You....what? What are you talking about?" Minna's eyes grew wide with surprise.

"Heh I'll have to explain that to you too." Reicheru closed her golden eyes. "i hope to see Elaine again."

"You will!" Yuki chimed it.

"Hey Minna-chan." Mr Hanayubi came over. "gomennasai about earlier today. You used to be a great student and you still are, so I'm sure everything will work out. I've got a

sweet treat for you."
He was grabbing at something in his pocket and he took it out and gave it to her. It was a ball of mochi. "I hope this cheers you up."

[That's gross. Never accept food from a pocket, especially if it wasn't in a bag and came from a perverted teacher.]

"Th-thank you. You're so sweet." she smiled. "you're the best teatcher that ever was. You care about your students more than other people do."

"Well, they don't call me mister flower fingers for nothing." He smiled and walked away.

[I think I'm going to be sick.]

"It's great to have friends like you around." Minna looked at Yuki and Reicheru. "you're the only things that keep me going."

"We're happy to help!" they said at the same time.

"Do you know how to get my memory back?" Minna asked.

Yuki put her finger to her lips. "Hmmm, well, I did hear of one way...but...I don't think we should do it. We'll have to go to a vampire witchtress to do it, too."

"I'M WILLING!" Reicheru stood up. "Anything for Minna's memory black!"

[You sure you can't just use some magic? Why risk going to a vampire witchtress if it will make her mind pitch black?]

"ME TOO!" Minna stood up also.

"Alright then, I'll have to bring you to her." Yuki sighed.

"Who?" Rei and Minna said at the same time.

"Luka Megurine, of course."

[Is this going to have another crossover? My apologies to the comrades, I'll have to end my review here for now.]
I wish no harm against Reicheru-Ketsueki, who wrote this fanfiction.
© 2012 - 2024 NOKAPIplz
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SaintsSauce's avatar
There is part of this review that made me lose it, but I want to ask something. Wouldn't someone who was half-angel and half-demon cancel themselves out?